Divorce is emotionally challenging and often confusing, especially when it comes to understanding the required paperwork. Whether you’re overwhelmed by the legal terms or just unsure about the steps involved, I’m here to simplify the process for you. Today, I’ll break down the basic steps of a divorce, so you know exactly what to expect and how to move forward efficiently.

Step 1: Filing for Divorce

The first step in any divorce is filing the necessary paperwork. In California, that means completing the FL-100 Petition, the FL-110 Summons, and, if you have children, the FL-105 (UCCJEA) form, which gives the court jurisdiction over your children. Depending on your county, there might also be a local form to confirm you’ve chosen the correct court.

For example, counties like Los Angeles and Orange require additional forms to ensure jurisdiction, but this varies. The court filing fee is around $450, but if you can’t afford it, you can apply for a fee waiver.

Next, your spouse has to be served with these papers. Remember, you can’t serve them yourself, and email service is not allowed. However, serving by mail is an option, and it’s often the most discreet way to go. If you choose this route, your spouse will need to sign and return the FL-117 Notice of Acknowledgment and Receipt. This is a critical step, as the six-month waiting period for a divorce in California starts only once your spouse is served.

Step 2: Financial Disclosures

The next phase, financial disclosures, is where people often get stuck. Both parties are required to complete the FL-142 Schedule of Assets and Debts and the FL-150 Income and Expense Declaration. These forms ensure that both parties are transparent about their financial situation, which is essential for determining things like spousal support, child support, and the division of property.

If you’re in a county like Los Angeles or one of the growing number of California counties, the court will expect both parties to file these disclosures, even if the other spouse hasn’t formally responded to the divorce petition. This is important for reaching a fair settlement.

Make sure to gather your bank statements, pay stubs, tax returns, and any documentation related to property, investments, and debts. This might seem overwhelming, but having this information upfront will save you time later. The FL-142 requires you to attach statements proving your assets and debts, so don’t skip this part. Even if your account balance is small or fluctuates, it’s better to disclose everything.

Step 3: Negotiating and Mediating

Once the financial disclosures are complete, you may realize there are still unresolved issues. This is the perfect time to consult a mediator. Mediators can help guide negotiations on spousal support, child support, and property division. And remember, mediation doesn’t have to solve everything—if there’s just one or two things you can’t agree on, you can still take those issues to court later.

Mediators help you stay focused on what matters, and in my practice, I provide detailed color-coded notes after each session to help keep everything organized. Red indicates areas of disagreement, yellow flags any homework or tasks that need to be completed, and green highlights areas where agreements have been reached. This helps you process everything step-by-step, without feeling overwhelmed.

Step 4: Reaching an Agreement and Finalizing the Divorce

Once you’ve reached an agreement, it’s time for the final paperwork. This is where you’ll finalize property, custody, child support, holidays, spousal support, and any additional terms.

The court may allow you to waive final financial disclosures, but it’s essential to ensure all paperwork is accurate. If you can’t agree on everything, the court will step in to decide. But if you’ve resolved most of your issues through mediation, even taking one or two matters to court is a significant win.

Moving Forward

The divorce process can be intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Understanding the steps and gathering the right documents early can make all the difference. If you’re unsure about any part of the process, consider scheduling a chat with a mediator or consulting with an attorney to get the guidance you need. Remember, every divorce is unique, but the core steps remain the same: Filing, Financial Disclosures, Negotiation, and Resolution.

You’ve got this—take it one step at a time, and reach out for help when you need it. The clearer you are about the process, the smoother your divorce will go.