Today we are talking about support. Support is a big deal, and the reason that it’s a big deal is because it’s money. And money is always a big deal.
People fight about their kids and they fight about their money. If they’re fighting about their kids it’s usually about the money. If that doesn’t bother you, it should. California makes it really easy to fight about your kids because they tie the amount of time that you spend with your kids to the amount of money you will receive, or not receive.
Spousal Support
In California it’s not called alimony, it’s called spousal support. Spousal support is about the standard of living within your marriage. So if for a couple of weeks, or a couple of months, you’ve been earning extra income, but that has not been the typical standard of your marriage then it’s unlikely that spousal support would be granted. If it is granted it would most likely only be granted temporarily.
The purpose of spousal support is so that the person who’s receiving support can become self-sufficient. Some people don’t ever become self-sufficient. Usually that happens in a long-term marriage where one spouse has not worked outside of the home for many years, they are older and it’s hard to find a good job because of age discrimination.
Child Support
When it comes to child support this is where a lot of the ugliness comes out. People fight over their children because they don’t want to pay any money, or because they want to receive money. The money is paid to the parent, not the children, and the paying parent has no control over how that money is spent. Many people are rightfully frustrated with this. If they have to pay money they want to make sure it actually goes for the children’s benefit and not to a Vegas trip or a night on the town.
California uses the Dissomaster to determine guideline child support. Parties can agree to pay above or below the guideline amount but a judge would have to sign off on that. In addition, either party could return to court and ask for the guideline amount to be enforced.
This guideline amount is tied to your income, the other parent’s income and the amount of overnights in a year the children spend with each parent. The overnights greatly impact the amount of support and this leads to fighting over the children. The goal should be to focus on what is best for the kids and not on the money. The purpose of child support is to provide an equal standard of living for the children in both households so that there isn’t favoritism toward the parent who can provide more material goods for the child.
If you and your soon-to-be-ex both make a pretty good living, but you happen to make more, and you don’t think child support should be paid since you’re sharing the kids 50-50, then I have a solution for you. Put a clause in your divorce decree that says something to the effect that once a year you are going to exchange tax return information to verify the income of the other party and rerun the Dissomaster to make sure appropriate child support is being paid. Chances are your spouse may make a lot more money in a few years and the disparity of income won’t be as great to warrant child support. I’ve seen Dissomaster calculations where child support was set at $7 because the incomes were so similar. In those cases parties typically set child support at $0.
Remember that child support is for the kids so it’s worth paying. Also remember that kids age out of child support so you won’t have to keep paying your ex forever.