Today, let’s talk about something that people have mixed feelings about—spousal support. Whether you’re receiving it or paying it, it’s a significant part of the divorce process that requires careful consideration.
Spousal Support: It’s Not Forever
The first thing you need to know about spousal support is that it will end one day. Yes, that’s right—it’s not a permanent fixture in your life, even though it may feel like it when you’re depending on it or obligated to pay it. For some, spousal support will end sooner rather than later, but regardless of the timeline, it’s essential to prepare for a future where you can live without it.
Wouldn’t it be great if you could get by without relying on spousal support and simply save or invest those payments? That’s an ideal situation, but either way, knowing that support is temporary can help you start planning for your financial independence from the get-go.
Eligibility for Spousal Support
Eligibility for spousal support is tied to several factors, one of the most significant being the length of your marriage. A common myth is that if you’ve been married for more than ten years, you’ll receive spousal support for life. Let me be clear—that’s a myth. Spousal support is negotiable, unlike child support, which is mandated and under the court’s jurisdiction.
The negotiation for spousal support often takes place during mediation or in court, and several factors are considered, including the disparity in income between you and your spouse. If one spouse has been earning significantly more, the standard of living during the marriage plays a crucial role in determining support. However, this standard of living should be based on actual income, not a lifestyle propped up by credit card debt.
Contributions to the Marriage
Spousal support also considers the contributions each spouse made to the marriage. Did one spouse stay home to raise the children while the other built a career? That’s a significant contribution that should be acknowledged in the support agreement. Stay-at-home parents provide unpaid labor that contributes to the family’s success, and spousal support is a way to recognize that work.
Requesting Spousal Support
If you’re in the process of divorce and need spousal support, you might need to fill out specific forms like the FL-300 to request a hearing with the court. It’s essential to have your financial disclosures completed and ready, as these documents will play a significant role in the court’s decision.
The court will consider various factors, such as the paying spouse’s ability to provide support and the receiving spouse’s needs. If the person seeking support has been out of the workforce for a long time, the court might consider their need for further education or training to gain employment.
Temporary vs. Permanent Support
Temporary support is meant to help you financially during the divorce process, while “permanent” support refers to support after the divorce is finalized. Remember, “permanent” doesn’t mean forever—it just means post-divorce. The duration of spousal support often correlates with the length of the marriage and other specific circumstances like health and age.
Avoiding Court and Reaching an Agreement
As you know, I always advocate for staying out of court when possible. Court proceedings can be lengthy, costly, and stressful. Mediation is a great alternative where you and your spouse can negotiate spousal support in a more private, controlled environment. The goal is to reach an agreement that meets both parties’ needs without the need for court intervention.
If your divorce starts off on rocky terms, you might need to have a court hearing to establish temporary support. However, even in those cases, mediation can often help smooth things out and avoid further court involvement.
Preparing for Spousal Support Negotiations
Before entering mediation or court, gather all necessary documentation and ensure your financial disclosures are accurate and thorough. If you’re seeking spousal support, start having conversations about potential employment opportunities or further education. Showing that you’re actively working toward financial independence can be beneficial.
If you find yourself struggling to figure out whether to pursue mediation or court, or if you’re unsure about what kind of spousal support you might be entitled to, I’m here to help. While I’m not a lawyer and can’t provide legal advice, I can certainly help guide you through the process and help you understand your options. Let’s work together to find the best path forward for you and your family.